I want to sit on my porch on the makeshift loveseat made out of wooden pallets, christmas lights shining on us,  the air cool and moist, listening to sad pop punk and drinking out of mason jars.

I will be 19 years old for the rest of my fucking life.

fun fact: young goths are more likely to become succesful adults than their primary color embracing peers.

(via fuckyeahdementia)

offal meatloaf.  black coffee.  old ska.  a dog curled up between my legs as I sleep.

life.

why is it that the most important questions and feelings and moments in our lives are directed at glowing computer screens, broadcast to everyone on the planet and no one in particular?  don’t we have eyes and ears and hearts that exist independent of consumer products?  is it too late to send a letter?

You never realize how hungry you are for something until by chance you get a taste of it and it opens up inside you.  Your days are longer, time seems to move by slower and the rest of your life looks dull and grey and shitty by comparison.  

You can try to silence your heart.  With irony.  With pessimism.  With alcohol.  With myopic interests channeling an ocean of possible experience into well worn channels.  Records.  Movies.  Stuff.  Emotional armor for insecure assholes.

And your heart will always win out.  It will sing out.

Sing “wake the fuck up” and “man the fuck up” and “listen the fuck up” and being a man means you listen, whether you want to hear it or not.

 I do not know when I will be a real boy.  I hope it comes soon.

the most remarkable thing about standing in the doorway

is that it’s you and you’re standing in the doorway.

I’ve been so good about saving up for a new car.  But I could be an irresponsible child instead and take a 3 week vacation in italy.  Being a grown up sucks.

apparently I am the first person on the internet to type the phrase “old macdonald smoked a blunt”.  I find that very hard to believe.

if every life ends like a hollywood movie (and come on, why would you and I deserve any less) the song that will play (roll credits) as we slowly sink into the great unknown like a body falling beneath soft waves would be justin bieber at 1/8 speed because the universe may be laughing at us, but it never stops singing sweet.